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‘It’s not that we’re shit at this, it’s just that we don’t care’, confirms DayZ dev team

This article was published on The Griefer, a satirical gaming news site. 

In a statement today DayZ’s development team at Bohemia Interactive insisted that employee ambivalence was the main force holding back development of their long overdue zombie apocalypse simulator.

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Battlefield Hardline: Preview

This was published in print in The Boar, Volume 37, Issue 6, 14th January 2015.

EA’s mantra: ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. In this generation balls will be kicked in FIFA, chests will open in Dragon Age, and ovens will catch fire in the Sims. In the realm of shooting people in the face though, war has supposedly changed.

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Are We Falling Out of Love With Facebook?

Published in print in The Boar, Vol. 37, Issue 8, 11th February 2015.

‘…Is wondering what’s so great about Facebook’ posted an edgy, provocative Oliver, age 14. He then proceeded to upload an ironic profile photo of himself in shades, set up a virtual farm, and discover that his crush had been haplessly poking half of Year 9. She would not be receiving his Bebo Luvs that day, for they were limited, and therefore precious.

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Illegal Downloads Beat Top-Down Censorship Down-Under

Published in print in The Boar, Vol. 37, Issue II, 29th April 2015.

It sucks to be Australian. Not only is life a constant battle against scorching sun, man-eating spiders, and English cricket fans, there are also seldom any decent games to play thanks to government censorship.

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(Virtual) Veni, Vidi, Vici

civ This Article originally featured on The Boar website. Image from G2A.com.

The first band of barbarians wiped out my scouting party. The second scorched my settlement and carried off my undefended workers. Frustrated, I vowed to hunt barbarians until the end of time.